You never know what happens at race time...

As some of you know, yesterday I ran the VA Beach Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon.  I knew I was ready for this, I had trained, had a goal, and I knew that I could beat my last 1/2 time of 2:07:03.  My goal was to run it in 2 hours, but I would have been happy if I beat 2:07:00.  Sometimes things don't work out the way we have planned, but I think this will make me stronger.

Saturday morning my boyfriend, Jay, and my two friends Anne Marie and Amy packed up my car and headed down to VA Beach for a fun filled two days.  Anne Marie, Amy and I were running, while Jay cheered from the sidelines.  The plan was to meet my sister Jessica as well and the four of us would have a fantastic race.  So Sunday morning we all crawled out of bed and headed to the start line at 6:15, water bottles filled, shot blocks packed, watches charged, and ready to run!  Our goals were as follows, Anne Marie wanted to run a string race because she had surgery a few months ago, Amy and I wanted to run it in 2 hours and Jessica had an amazing goal of 1:44:00!  We knew what we wanted and we all had the finish line in mind.

Jessica and I before the race

When they race started we all went to our own corrals to run our own races, Anne Marie joined me because neither of us normally run with anyone so we thought it would be nice to have a running buddy.  As the corral in front of us took off, I looked down to get my watch ready only to see that it had 0% battery left.  I was ripping up inside, I knew it had said 100% only 45 minutes early when we left the hotel.  My watch is my life line when I run, I know it shouldn't be, but I'm not a place in my running where I can feel my pace.  I look down every mile to check my pace and then adjust it accordingly.  I had no idea what to do...in my head I needed my watch.  I proceed to tell Anne Marie to switch watches with me, she only had a timer, but at least I could kind of figure out calculations in my head.

As the race started, this was all I could think about.  I just wanted MY watch, I wanted to know my pace every time I looked at my watch, I didn't want to have to do the calculations in my head...I was angry and it effected me starting from the first step I took.  I couldn't let it go.  By the time I hit the 10K mark, in my head I knew I wasn't going to make my goal of 2:00:00 and then it made me sad.  I had worked so had worked so hard for this and now I didn't even care...I gave up.  If you know me, you know that isn't me.  I am competitive, self-driven person who would push themselves to get what they want, but not yesterday.  Yesterday I let the mental game win.  I won't let it happen again.

I finally crossed the finish line in 2:24:03.  I was broken...it was the worst I have run in 2 years.  It was especially hard because around me people were making their goals, but I didn't.  Jessica ran her race in 1:43:02, Amy ran in 1:57:53 and Anne Marie ran in 2:10:49.  I am so proud of all of them, but I wanted to be with them making my own goal.

Anne Marie, Jess, and I after the race

I am going to take this race and grow from it.  In the last 24 hours I have really thought about a few things that I learned.  I learned...

1. That I need to beat the mental race: This may be harder than the run itself.  If you beat yourself up for 13.1 miles because of something you can't control, I'll never make it for 26.2 miles.  I need to think back to what my sister Jodi says and thinks about while she runs, "Breath, Believe."  If you do those two things, you can do it.  One step at a time, one mile at a time.  Remember, "The Turtle Won the Race!"  That may be my saying each step or each mile, whatever it takes to break through the mental game.

2. I ran 13.1 miles yesterday and today my knee feels great: One month ago, it hurt to ran sometimes even 1 mile, now with all the cross training, stretching, and icing, my knee is feeling fantastic.  I overcame that so I know I can overcome this.  My body is stronger than it was and my mind needs to get there.

3. Sometimes you have a bad day: As simple as it is, sometimes, as a runner, you have an off day and you need to be ok about that.  You can't PR every time, but you do need to be proud of yourself everyday.

4. Jay was proud of me, no matter how I ran: This was the first race Jay ever saw so of course I wanted to do well and have him be proud me.  After the race, with tears in my eyes, I said to him, "I'm sorry, I just wanted you to be proud me."  His response, "I am proud of you no matter what, you just ran something I would never even think of doing, I'm so proud."  It made my heart grow a million times even though I was beating myself up about my results.  I couldn't have asked for a better supporter.

My biggest supporter, Jay :)

5. And finally...I need to call Garmin ASAP:  Let's be honest, why was a watch that was fully charged 45 mins earlier now reading 0% battery life????  I will be having a nice conversation with them and by nice I mean I better be getting a new watch because this is NOT the first time this has happened, just the first time it has happened during an important event.

I will beat the mental game and come out stronger...I will make myself proud!

I have 54 more days to prepare for 26.2 miles, I'll be ready...BRING IT!