2 Amazing Long Runs!

It has been some time since I have written and my last run that I wrote about was so tough for me, but I have learned so much from it.  Two weeks ago I wrote about what I learned and now I have proven mentally and physically that I have learned so much from my last race.

Last weekend I did my long run (14 miles) on September 11.  The 10 year anniversary of the day our world changed.  Although I did not know anyone directly that was effected by those terrorist attacks, it is still a very emotionally day for me.  Because of this, I wanted to watch the ceremonies on TV, which meant I ran 14 miles on a treadmill.  Two hours and twenty minutes on a treadmill.  It may seem like a long time, but with every step I took I thought about all the people that risked their lives for other people that they did not even know.  It was about two hours and twenty minutes from when first plane hit to when the second tower fell.  In the time it took me to run 14 miles, almost 3,000 innocent people died.  It really made me think how the lives of all their loved ones changed.  No matter how much pain I endured in that run, it was nothing compared to all of those amazing people.

As I ran, I listened to the stories, especially those of the children.  One young man, now 21, explained that the day his father died his brother had just turned 2.  He made a promise to himself that day that he would teach his brother everything his dad had taught him.  He taught him to throw a baseball, to read a book, to excel in school, basically everything a parent does.  He still felt sadness though because he still wanted and needed his dad.  He wanted his dad to teach him to drive a car, to congratulate him when he made it in to college, and even teach him how to ask out a girl.  As I heard this I felt tears rolling down my cheeks because I related to him.  It was a surreal feeling.

I had no idea who this man was, but I could relate because I felt like my mom left me too soon as well.  There are things I still want and need from her everyday.  I hope I make her proud, I ask myself if my life has turned out the way she would have wanted for me, I wish she was there to watch me graduate, would she have helped me each time I need a shoulder to cry on, or even just a friendly phone conversation every once in a while.  I realized that's why September 11 is emotional for me.  It brings back feelings and thoughts that are hard to cope with, just as it does for those who were effected.  It's so hard to put into words what that run meant, but I know that two hours and twenty minutes of what some would call self-induced pain, is nothing compared to the feelings that are brought up each year when a new anniversary rolls around.

My mom and I, 1982

As emotional as last week's run was, today's run was similar, but in a more upbeat way.  I ran the longest I have ever run, I was stronger than ever, and with each step I took I knew I had it in me to run farther.  Today I wore this shirt:

I really thought about this as I ran because it is true...slow and steady does win the race.  It was perfect!  I ran a very consistent 20 miles and feel so good about each mile.  I had Jodi, Amy, Melissa, and Tammy along with me to make my longest and most favorite run, a fantastic memory!

Here's the break down:

Mile 1 - 10:22

Mile 2 - 12:20

Mile 3 - 10:01

Mile 4 - 10:02

Mile 5 - 10:25

Mile 6 - 10:21

Mile 7 - 10:24

Mile 8 - 10:28

Mile 9 - 10:20

Mile 10 - 10:16

Mile 11 - 10:20

Mile 12 - 10:07

Mile 13 - 10:01

Mile 14 - 10:14

Mile 15 - 10:52

Mile 16 - 10:51

Mile 17 - 10:36

Mile 18 - 10:42

Mile 19 - 10:24

Mile 20 - 10:56

Total Time - 3:28:12

Average Pace - 10:24

I am so proud of all 5 of us.  We all ran great, felt great, and did an amazing job of supporting each other!  I am so proud to call these women my friends and sister!

Melissa, Jodi, Amy and I after our fantastic run!

You never know what happens at race time...

As some of you know, yesterday I ran the VA Beach Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon.  I knew I was ready for this, I had trained, had a goal, and I knew that I could beat my last 1/2 time of 2:07:03.  My goal was to run it in 2 hours, but I would have been happy if I beat 2:07:00.  Sometimes things don't work out the way we have planned, but I think this will make me stronger.

Saturday morning my boyfriend, Jay, and my two friends Anne Marie and Amy packed up my car and headed down to VA Beach for a fun filled two days.  Anne Marie, Amy and I were running, while Jay cheered from the sidelines.  The plan was to meet my sister Jessica as well and the four of us would have a fantastic race.  So Sunday morning we all crawled out of bed and headed to the start line at 6:15, water bottles filled, shot blocks packed, watches charged, and ready to run!  Our goals were as follows, Anne Marie wanted to run a string race because she had surgery a few months ago, Amy and I wanted to run it in 2 hours and Jessica had an amazing goal of 1:44:00!  We knew what we wanted and we all had the finish line in mind.

Jessica and I before the race

When they race started we all went to our own corrals to run our own races, Anne Marie joined me because neither of us normally run with anyone so we thought it would be nice to have a running buddy.  As the corral in front of us took off, I looked down to get my watch ready only to see that it had 0% battery left.  I was ripping up inside, I knew it had said 100% only 45 minutes early when we left the hotel.  My watch is my life line when I run, I know it shouldn't be, but I'm not a place in my running where I can feel my pace.  I look down every mile to check my pace and then adjust it accordingly.  I had no idea what to do...in my head I needed my watch.  I proceed to tell Anne Marie to switch watches with me, she only had a timer, but at least I could kind of figure out calculations in my head.

As the race started, this was all I could think about.  I just wanted MY watch, I wanted to know my pace every time I looked at my watch, I didn't want to have to do the calculations in my head...I was angry and it effected me starting from the first step I took.  I couldn't let it go.  By the time I hit the 10K mark, in my head I knew I wasn't going to make my goal of 2:00:00 and then it made me sad.  I had worked so had worked so hard for this and now I didn't even care...I gave up.  If you know me, you know that isn't me.  I am competitive, self-driven person who would push themselves to get what they want, but not yesterday.  Yesterday I let the mental game win.  I won't let it happen again.

I finally crossed the finish line in 2:24:03.  I was broken...it was the worst I have run in 2 years.  It was especially hard because around me people were making their goals, but I didn't.  Jessica ran her race in 1:43:02, Amy ran in 1:57:53 and Anne Marie ran in 2:10:49.  I am so proud of all of them, but I wanted to be with them making my own goal.

Anne Marie, Jess, and I after the race

I am going to take this race and grow from it.  In the last 24 hours I have really thought about a few things that I learned.  I learned...

1. That I need to beat the mental race: This may be harder than the run itself.  If you beat yourself up for 13.1 miles because of something you can't control, I'll never make it for 26.2 miles.  I need to think back to what my sister Jodi says and thinks about while she runs, "Breath, Believe."  If you do those two things, you can do it.  One step at a time, one mile at a time.  Remember, "The Turtle Won the Race!"  That may be my saying each step or each mile, whatever it takes to break through the mental game.

2. I ran 13.1 miles yesterday and today my knee feels great: One month ago, it hurt to ran sometimes even 1 mile, now with all the cross training, stretching, and icing, my knee is feeling fantastic.  I overcame that so I know I can overcome this.  My body is stronger than it was and my mind needs to get there.

3. Sometimes you have a bad day: As simple as it is, sometimes, as a runner, you have an off day and you need to be ok about that.  You can't PR every time, but you do need to be proud of yourself everyday.

4. Jay was proud of me, no matter how I ran: This was the first race Jay ever saw so of course I wanted to do well and have him be proud me.  After the race, with tears in my eyes, I said to him, "I'm sorry, I just wanted you to be proud me."  His response, "I am proud of you no matter what, you just ran something I would never even think of doing, I'm so proud."  It made my heart grow a million times even though I was beating myself up about my results.  I couldn't have asked for a better supporter.

My biggest supporter, Jay :)

5. And finally...I need to call Garmin ASAP:  Let's be honest, why was a watch that was fully charged 45 mins earlier now reading 0% battery life????  I will be having a nice conversation with them and by nice I mean I better be getting a new watch because this is NOT the first time this has happened, just the first time it has happened during an important event.

I will beat the mental game and come out stronger...I will make myself proud!

I have 54 more days to prepare for 26.2 miles, I'll be ready...BRING IT!